All posts by magnoliatru

Undone: Returning to the Work of Healing

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Hey Sweets,

This past month, I’ve been battling a serious case of writer’s block. I’d start multiple posts only to lose interest a few sentences in. Frustrated, I tried to figure out why it was happening, but instead of facing it head-on, I found myself binge-watching shows and avoiding the discomfort altogether.

Then, this morning, as I was detangling my hair and listening to Sarah Jakes Roberts, the truth hit me like a ton of bricks: I’ve been half-stepping on my self-healing journey, and it’s showing.

When I first started this journey, my focus was on healing from the aftermath of an abusive relationship. I wanted to understand how I ended up there and how I could break the cycle to protect myself in the future. For over two years, I worked to rebuild my sense of self, focusing on self-love and breaking free from patterns that left me vulnerable.

But here’s the thing: healing from one wound doesn’t mean all wounds are healed. The unresolved pain from childhood trauma, sexual abuse, strained family relationships, and even “church hurt” was still quietly lingering beneath the surface. I repressed it because the pain felt too heavy to confront.

Discovering self-love felt incredible, and I wanted to believe it was enough. But when I sat down to write about self-healing, I realized I hadn’t been completely honest with myself. And if I wasn’t being real with me, how could I be transparent with you? Healing is hard work—it’s messy and painful. It requires us to face what we’re most afraid to feel, all the way through.

Carl Jung said it best: “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”

I owe myself and anyone looking to me for guidance the full, uncut version of what healing really looks like. I don’t want to offer surface-level advice or pretty quotes that sound good but lack depth. I want my words to come from a place of understanding and truth. That means going back to the drawing board and committing to the work again.

If you’ve found yourself in a similar place, I want you to know that there’s no right or wrong way to heal. It’s natural to want to avoid pain—it’s human instinct. But there is strength in pushing through it.

Sweets, Remember This

Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. What matters is your willingness to face the hard stuff and keep moving forward. It’s okay to pause, reevaluate, and start again. Every small step is progress.

Thanks for reading,
Tru

Birthday Ritual: An Affirmation for Self-love

self love

Hey Sweets,

This past year, I found myself on a self-healing journey—a journey I didn’t even know I needed. I started counseling, journaling, and slowly peeling back the layers that I’d ignored for far too long. What I discovered was a glaring truth: I had been neglecting self-love. I wasn’t showing up for myself the way I should have.

Looking back, I realize how much heartache I could’ve avoided if I had simply chosen me. So, when my birthday came around this year, I knew it was time for something different. I wanted to celebrate myself—not just the milestones but the person I’ve grown into.

I came across a blog post about creating a birthday ritual, and that sparked an idea: Why not make my birthday a personal celebration of love and growth? As I started planning, my excitement grew—not because of what others might do for me, but because I was finally taking the time to fulfill my own wants and needs. This was going to be a birthday like no other.

The Gifts I Gave Myself

I decided that my birthday gifts would go beyond material things. They would be acts of love and growth that I could carry with me into the next year.

 A 90-Day Fast
The first gift was a 90-day fast from my good sis Mary Jane and alcohol. At first, this might not sound like a gift, but it was the sense of accomplishment at the end that made it one of the most valuable things I’ve ever given myself.

During this fast, I learned to sit with my emotions instead of numbing them. I released the guilt I felt for the time wasted self-medicating and instead started using that time to heal for real. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

An Oath Ring
My second gift was an oath ring—a symbol of my commitment to choosing myself no matter what. It’s a daily reminder to prioritize my growth and honor my worth. As I reenter the world of dating and fun, this ring serves as a grounding tool, reminding me to apply all the lessons I’ve learned.

Magnolia Tru
My third gift was this blog. Magnolia Tru was a dream I had back in 2015, but fear and self-doubt kept me from following through. I launched it once, only to take it down within a week. Five years later, I’m finally ready to give this dream the attention it deserves.

Launching this blog is more than just a creative outlet—it’s an act of defiance against my own self-sabotage. It’s proof that I’m capable of seeing things through, even if the journey takes time.

The Staycation

For the second part of my ritual, I booked myself a solo staycation. No kids, no work, no distractions—just me and the peace I craved.

The first thing I did was pull out my journal. I wrote down everything I wanted to release—the guilt, the disappointments, the fears. Then, I filled those pages with gratitude. I thanked God, my guides, and my ancestors for carrying me through. I celebrated my wins, big and small, and affirmed the life I’m stepping into.

Bringing in my 28th year in a space of love and gratitude felt powerful. It reminded me that I don’t need to wait for someone else to validate or celebrate me. I can do that for myself.

Lessons for You: Creating Your Own Ritual

Sweets, I want you to think about this: When was the last time you truly celebrated yourself? Not for what you’ve done, but for who you are?

Here are some lessons I learned from my ritual that you can adapt for your own life:

  1. Give Yourself Gifts That Matter
    Think about what you truly need—peace, clarity, time, or even closure. These are gifts that go beyond material things and create lasting change.

  2. Prioritize Solitude
    Spending time alone isn’t lonely; it’s empowering. It’s a chance to reconnect with yourself and listen to what your soul needs.

  3. Practice Gratitude and Release
    Take time to reflect on what’s holding you back. Write it down, release it, and replace it with gratitude for the things that uplift you.

  4. Create a Tradition Just for You
    Whether it’s a birthday ritual or a weekly self-care practice, make space to celebrate yourself regularly. You’re worthy of love and recognition—especially from yourself.

Sweets, Remember This

Every time I told someone my birthday plans, they were confused. Spending your birthday alone seems odd to some, but here’s the truth: you’re a whole vibe, Sweets. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It’s a powerful reminder that your company is more than enough.

Whether you’re a mom, wife, sister, friend, or CEO, you deserve the same love and care you pour into everyone else. Celebrate yourself unapologetically—you’re worth it.

Until next time,
With love and growth,
Tru