Hey Sweets,

Love has a way of outliving us. It keeps moving, keeps showing up, even when we don’t expect it. Today I want to share the first in a series of love letters I’ll be writing to honor God’s love and how it manifests in my life. My hope is that these love letters remind you of the many ways love heals, restores, continues to move and blesses us, even in ways we don’t always see.

My Girl,

I didn’t realize just how much your love was still working until this past weekend.

I was sitting across from a client, someone who’s been with me since my very first year doing taxes. We were talking, and he casually mentioned how happy the people he referred to me were. Earlier that day, with one of his friends, I mentioned that I could not remember how he became my client. And as we were talking, he said it unwarranted, “I believe it was your Matant who sent me to you.” My heart paused when he said it. I had completely forgotten.

As he got ready to ask me how you were doing, it quickly dawned on me that he didn’t know and I had to tell him you were gone. I had to relive that day all over again. But in light of him receiving the news, what he said next was comforting reminder. He said, “If I had to credit anyone for where I am now in life, I would include her.”

He told me how you two met at work, how you became good friends, how you helped him, guided him, and supported him. How meeting you was the catalyst he needed to set up his life in Indiana with his family. Your love, your kindness, your impact stretched far and wide. Your love was and is so powerful that it continues to be a blessing even after your transition.

Since the day you left, I have struggled with the fact that we weren’t in a good space at the time. That’s something I don’t talk about much, but it lingers. The things I wish we’d said. The way I wish we had made things right. It’s a weight I’ve been holding onto, unsure if I’d ever be able to put it down.

But in that conversation, something shifted. My heart was so full. It was a reminder of the way you always made sure I was okay, even in ways I didn’t notice at the time. You set something in motion that’s still blessing me today. I’m thinking you had something to do with him deciding to meet in person instead of virtually. God knew I needed to physically experience this because even though we weren’t in the best place, love was still working. I needed to know that.

You are still looking out for me. Still making sure I am taken care of. Still pouring into me. That conversation reminded me of something I should have never questioned—your love was never conditional. It didn’t fade just because things got complicated. It didn’t stop just because we didn’t get to say everything we needed to.

It was deserved.

And that’s what your name means. Merite.

You loved me in ways I’ll never be able to repay.

You were there for the biggest moments of my life. You held my hand when I brought my second baby girl into the world, keeping me strong. And when she arrived, you didn’t just love her—you raised her and her sister. You cared for them like they were yours. And in doing that, you took care of me too.

You never let me feel alone. No matter what was going on, you showed up. Every single time.

I wish I had told you more often how much I appreciated you. I hope you knew.

I hope you knew that even when we weren’t seeing eye to eye, I still loved you. That even now, I carry so much of you with me.

You taught me what it means to love fully. You showed me how to pour into people, how to leave a mark that lasts long after you’re gone. And Matant, you left a mark on me that time could never erase.

I miss you. I miss your laugh, your strength, your presence. I miss being able to call you, to hear your voice, to feel like you’re just a moment away. But I see now that you’re never really gone.

You’re in my daughter’s laughter.

You’re in your children’s strength.

You’re in the clients who keep coming my way because of you.

You’re in the way I push through, the way I keep going.

You’re in me.

And for that, I’ll always be grateful.

I thank God for you.

I don’t know if I’ll ever stop carrying the weight of what was left unfinished. But I do know this: I’ll carry the love too. I’ll carry it every day, in every choice I make, in every act of kindness I put into the world. Because that’s what you did for me. That’s what you left me with.

And as long as I’m here, that love isn’t going anywhere.

Thank you for everything, Matant. You deserved all the love you gave. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure it keeps growing.

Love,

Your Niece

Merite Idoren – Forever in my Heart ♥️